Fenrir

The saddest thing about this poem is no one can truly appreciate the story, the message, and imagery in this poem unless they actually read the original tale about Fenris (it’s Fenrir by the way from Norse Mythology). Fenris refers to the wolf in Marvel Comics, and mind you, was inspired by the original tale about Fenrir. You could say I’ve read a lot.

To tell of Fenrir having a master when he never did I think is genius and puts a very big twist on the original tale. I could say I like your version better because it’s a lot more interesting and has a ‘what’s going to happen now?’ feel to it. There is a sort of friendship the master has with Fenrir, then again there is an understood alarming danger in having him as a companion, which your poem describes very well.

Another thing I appreciate most in this poem (and your other most recent works) is it's got body to it. Your lines aren't absurdly outstretched, which is often enough for me to turn a blind eye and not read it, or any poem people do that to. It takes away that elegant beauty a poem is supposed to have. When people read poetry they want to read something that has a quotable quality to it, not something that has a bunch of one-word line breaks that come too often, unless absolutely necessary in very rare, intentional instances. Otherwise it is not necessary.

To say so much in one or two, exceeding no more than four lines is something I think this poem does very well.

Allow me to quote a few things I loved from the poem:

Quote, ". . . I stumble through the door
and find the filthy beast crouched on the floor,
grinning from ear to ear over the corpse
of another orphaned memory." End quote

These are amazing lines because as a reader I felt I was there stumbling through that door, seeing everything exactly how you told it. You were able to drag me into this place to feel like I was there and could have sworn it. However, my only little qualm with the opening in this poem here is the 'Until one day' bit in the third line. It is unnecessary and looks like you just added it in there so the line evens out with the other(s), but trying to do that by adding something that doesn't sound good or belong is a bad way of doing it. You have to push your mind to think so you can fill in that blank space. When I write I find myself having to do it ALL the time.

Poetry is like a visual art piece; leave no blank spaces as much possible within your stanzas! Anyone that's a professional creating visual artwork or teaching it knows this and applies to writing as well. There are plenty of words out there and ways to say things to fill the blank spaces. This is something a lot of people have trouble with.

Moving on . . .

Quote, "Blood dripping at the teeth,
(the ripping fangs of nightmares)" End quote

It's a given why I like these lines and therefore requires little explanation on why. It sounds fresh, different, and the visual I get from it is more frightening than something that's otherwise poorer.

Quote, "I keep the dog close by as I go,
for all the things it can sense and kill,
for all the things it keeps at bay,
but of all the things that do me harm -
I fear the dog on his final day." End quote

This is what I call a wishing these lines were my own. You describe the good reason for having a dog in the first place very well, but NOT Fenrir! Not only that the ending stanza shows you have done your research very well throughout this entire poem. The fact this poem comes from the hands of a woman is to me impressive because you’re able to alternate between a woman’s take on things and a man’s. This is a neat little gift few writers have.

Anyway this is what I mean by quotable quality; I am actually able to easily take snippets from your poem and tell you exactly what I like or don't like about them. I don't have to sit there and feel like I'm having to quote an entire paragraph.

The goal when writing poetry is to say so much in so little, not so little in so much.

OVERVIEW:

Despite your original take on the story of Fenrir I didn’t give you a perfect 5 on Originality (4.5) because it has already been written about. For your Vision (4.5) the same thing applies. Your Technique got a 4 because I did come across some things I didn’t agree with via unnecessary fillers to fill in blank space. The Impact got a perfect 5 because it left me wanting to know what else is going to happen, and even now still leaves me wondering.



Keep up your fine work!
Siryan